Come a little closer… I’ll let you in on a secret. I have anxiety! Yes, that’s what my lovely psychiatrist said, I have generalize anxiety. I was diagnosed officially about a year ago. Not many people know that I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, and that I’m a bit OCD. It’s almost like living a double life. To put the cherry on top, I’m an introvert.
You see the pictures on Facebook, of me and my family enjoying life and traveling the world. But what the pictures don’t show, is all the preparation it took for me actually get out of the house, on a plane, heck, even to go to the grocery store. How everything has to be scheduled and calculated down to a science so that I can avoid peak times, crowds, anything that would cause my already high anxiety to go to the next level.
Anxiety, has taken a toll on my life for many years. Only a hand full of people know of this secret life with anxiety where things that are minor can trigger my anxiety and lead to a panic attack. That I could barely leave out the house to get the mail, because I would be engulfed with anxiety. That spur of the moment didn’t work for me. Please don’t ask me to do something at the last-minute. I have to prepare my brain to be ready for that. Even if it’s only to go out to lunch!
I cannot control that I over think every single detail. Here, I am sharing this secret with you, you, and you. I don’t even know you! I know that is just a step in taking control of my anxiety. That even if there are harsh opinions, I must remember that it is simply that. Opinions. I can only hope that by sharing a bit about my anxiety will help someone else to see they are not alone.
No one knows, that I hardly drive anywhere, let alone drive somewhere by myself. If I must drive somewhere, I stay on familiar, but less traveled paths, to avoid traffic. I stay inside my little circle radius, I don’t go outside my bubble if I am driving.
I don’t share with many that have anxiety. I don’t share that I take medication to get through each day with less anxiety, just so I can be able to spur of the moment go to the store if I need to. But I do! I’m happy to share my story with other. I want others to know it’s ok, it will get easier and that anxiety doesn’t have to have full control and always drive the show. You can take back control and put anxiety in the backseat.