For almost a decade I have been searching for my biological mother. I have done ancestry.com, 23 and Me, and GEDmatch. And all were great tools in my search.
Let me backtrack to why I started the search. Not that I didn’t always wonder, because I did. I was curious to know…
When I found out that I was pregnant, I knew it was time to start my search. At my first doctors appointment I was ask about my medical history; is there a history of… cancer, diabetes, etc. “I don’t know” was the only answer I could give. I was adopted, I don’t know family history. But I knew that I had to find this information out. It would be things I wanted my child to know in the future. I knew it was time for me to find out who my birth mother was and hopefully get to build a relationship with her.
I had very limited information, no names, no location of where my birth mother or birth family could be. The information that was listed, on the non-identifying paper from social services, said that my birth mother was born and raise in Thailand and I had siblings, two of which were in Thailand at the time of my birth. It didn’t give much information about my birthfather, except he enjoyed fishing and his sisters enjoy sewing and cooking. I started with the ancestry.com test to kick off the search. It was overwhelming, as there were many cousin hits, but distant cousins and it was hard to connect the dots. But I did get lucky with a fourth cousin match, two sisters who were very involved in tracing their ancestry. I told them my story and they helped to connect any dots I came across. We did know that we were related on my birth father’s side. It was a start.
Part of this journey was to also visit Thailand while I was living in Japan. To visit my Motherland. To be able to be in a place, that my birthmother had also been. Walk through an airport that she once walked in before traveling from Thailand to America. You can read here about how I felt when I stepped off the plane at airport.
Year after year, I continued connecting the dots, it wasn’t until 2017 when I received a first cousin match on ancestry. I sent her a message on ancestry and she replied back. She said, she knew who my mother was and even where she lived. My first cousin and I spoke via text message and even video chatted with each other, a few other cousins, and my aunts. These are my relatives from my birth father’s side. Shortly after that connection, I was texting and speaking on the phone with one of my biological sister’s. It was all so surreal. The search was coming to an end and the journey of getting to know my biological family was starting. A couple months later, I went to Louisiana to meet my birth mother and siblings.
We met at a restaurant, so that it was in a more comfortable setting for everyone. The search was over, here we were face to face biological mother and siblings. It was a wonderful feeling. My birth mother did express, that she hoped that I would one day search for her. She was very happy that I found her and my siblings. But the journey does not end there. I have two sisters who lived in Thailand that I hope that I can also find in the future.
It was no easy sailing, it took years to find my biological family members. I guess you are wondering, what about my birth father?? I have not reached out to him or met him. He does live in the same city that my siblings and birth mother live in. I have interaction with his siblings, via social media. He is not a mystery to me, as I’ve seen photos and also know his name. But for now, I’m getting to know my birth mother and siblings. After all those years, I am glad to be on the journey of getting to know my biological family.
If you are searching for biological family, don’t give up. Follow each lead and don’t get discouraged when you come to a lead that’s a dead-end. Let me know in the comments below if you are adopted and let me know if you have searched for your biological family.