Silent. No hyperventilating. Heart racing. I focus on my breathing so that no one knows I’m having a panic attack.
This is not the first quiet panic attack I’ve had. I’m sure it may not be the last. You see, today I’m outside of “safe zone” into unknown territory. I have jury duty. I don’t know what to expect, so I’ve been filled with anxiety since receiving notice that I would have jury duty.
The day/night before I focus on being calm. I take it easy to conserve all my energy for the next day. People everywhere, the unknown, having to possibly speak… oh, the panic just settles in. It settles in like it was invited to the party.
Focusing on my breathing helps to ease the anxiety and bring the panic attack down. I’m here, still filled with anxiety because of the unknown. But no one around a knows that inside I’m all twisted with anxiety and panic. Quiet on the outside, but noisy on the inside.
There are many others, like myself, who are good at hiding the panic attacks and the anxiety. But it can be draining on the body. All of that takes so much energy. After a long day, I am drained. I cannot focus my thoughts. I just want and need to reenergize. Mentally and physically. Food, reality tv shows, and rest to rejuvenate.