Rediscovering Yourself After Hard Seasons (Because Moms Deserve Healing Too)

The identity shift no one warns you about in motherhood

Motherhood changes you in more ways than one. In fact, it changes you so much that you’ll often feel as though you’ve lost a sense of yourself. Like a bit – or a lot – of your identity is missing.

That transition is comparable to adolescence, and the fundamental rewriting of your identity, which you are now doing many years later, alongside looking after a child or your children.

It can lead to a loss of personal identity, friendships changing, and a need to redefine your goals in life as a result.

How to rebuild self-trust after tough times 

To help rebuild that self-trust after experiencing tough times, several tips are helpful to follow. These include:

Focus on the present

Try not to hang on too much to the past. This is important because otherwise, you’re going to let your future happiness be compromised by something that is long gone and no longer relevant to your life.

Focus on the now and quiet the noises from your past. We all have a past, and many of us have regrets, but that’s part of what makes us human.

Do things that scare you a little 

Gently stepping out of your comfort zone can be handy to do when you’re looking to face your fears and to come out of that shell that you might have been hiding within since becoming a parent for the first time.

Challenge negative thoughts

Trauma can often distort your thinking, so it’s important, where you can, to actively challenge negative beliefs that are coming from your mind. Try to transform them into more positive thoughts and feelings.

And to be entirely honest here, there’s sadly some moms out there that struggle with self-trust because of experiences that blindsided them completely. It’s really awful to say, but the rise in gynecologist abuse claims is a reminder that a lot of women have been hurt by people they were supposed to trust, and that kind of betrayal can make it even harder to feel safe opening up again. It’s a very real layer of healing that doesn’t get talked about enough.

When those negative thoughts become too overwhelming, you might want to seek professional help or therapy to help with those thoughts and feelings. Getting help is the bravest thing you can do when it comes to your mental health.

Finding peace and purpose beyond the chaos

Finding peace and purpose beyond the chaos can be hard when you’re navigating the reality of motherhood. However, there will come a time when you can finally find some peace and purpose for your own life that exists outside of the wonderful child or children you now have.

Rediscovering yourself takes some time, especially as you’re unlikely to find your new self overnight. It can take time to discover who you are and what you need from life now in this next chapter of your life.